Me, Myself and the Boys

Bi-Sexual Borders

What a disastarous night was yesterday night! It started of really good, but it ended terribly. Isabel and I went to the bar. It was amazingly fun, we were checking out some hot students and danced with them. Isabel made fun of John, which made laugh. It all went amazing. John and Jasper even left! So I could party at my best!

Menno called, said he would sneak out of his house to come too. I got talking with some new staff there. His name was Rob real nice guy. After that it was all dancing and having fun. Untill Menno arrived. We were having fun, but Isabel got kinda pissed at me, because I let her down. It was suppose to be our girlnight and we would hunt for men and Menno wasn't invited...
So she was a little mad at me for that. But it didn't stop me. Menno filled me up with beer and I got kinda tipsy. Isabel was out of the picture now. I couldn't find her anywhere! Menno and I sang some songs in the girls restroom and had a lot of fun. I said to him: "This is great! And espescially because John and Jasper aren't here!" Menno was laughing. We went downstairs, I choked: AAAH JOHN AND JASPER! I was drunk by this time so I was really screaming.
But I still went downstairs and had a little chat with an Aussie, which was quiet fun. After that I saw Isabel, she was still pissed at me and there was a problem with a girl from her class, so she was busy with that. I was partying on. Then I saw "blondie", that isn't his actual name but he's an extremely hot blond guy, who Isabel and I really adore. But he doesn't know us...
But this time I was drunk so I got to talk to him. He tried to kiss me, but I refused to (it may sound a bit silly, but I really am proud of myself because of that). At least I know his name now.

After that I really had to go to the toilets, but because there was a girl throwing up on the women's toilet, I had to go to the men's. Menno waited for me. I came out of the toilet and ran into Jasper. I said that I wasn't allowed to talk to him. "Fuck John!" He said, "I can talk who ever I want to!" But I closed up and screamed, cause John walked into the room.
It started ok, but after a while it resulted in fight with Menno, Jasper John and me. I was really scared of John and hid myself behind Menno. John couldn't believe it and said that I was the one playing nasty games. Menno stood up for me. I said to John, he had no idea what he was doing to me.
It was the truth, how much would I give to totally forget about those guys! I just cant... And I told them, they were on my mind every single day. John couldn't believe it and said I shouldn't take it so hard. And that I wasn't competitive enough for him, so he would never do something to me. But he does, he's just not aware of it. I really am going crazy and I'm constantly afraid of losing Menno, because of all this bullshit!
I cried and Menno was there for me. John was still mad at me. And Jasper, he was there for me too. Untill John called him back... Well I do have permission to talk to Jasper again now, but I don't want to, I'm still scared of John.
Menno and Jasper guided me on my way home. At my place we were still arguing about John and his love for Menno. And about the fact that Jasper was touching me all the time and he has a girlfriend for Christ sake!

When I was finally safe in my bed. Jasper text me the following: "And still... You're the one making me horny ;) x" I responded: "Explain to me why ;) And good night xx" I fell asleep. And this morning I got an answer: "Well if I wouldn't have a girlfriend right now, I would probably try to get in your bed. ;) x" It kinda made me laugh. He has NO chance!

I also text Julian yesterday when I was drunk. So today I text him and said that I was sorry to text him so late at night. He sent back: "It's ok, I thought it was cute. Love" I wanna see him again I really do! I just hope I didn't made a complete fool of myself. We'll see, on Sunday!

posted by Fiona @ 12:50 PM