Me, Myself and the Boys

My Oh My, A Song To Say Goodbye

This week has been more sad than happy. The day after my last post my grandmother, who was very sick, died. I still can't believe she's gone. It passed by so fast! Three weeks ago I got to hear she was feeling sick, two weeks ago we heard from the cancer and a week later she was gone. It's still hard to imagine. So I spent my entire week in Belgium, where my family lives.
It was pretty fucked up, cause I was right in my exams when I heard the bad news. So I wasn't able to do them this week.
When I got to Belgium, my cousin was depending on me. She had a pretty rough time. So I wanted to be there for her. I had to be brave, for my mom, my cousin and my aunt. It was kinda hard. My cousin and I wrote a text to read out on the funeral. It was tough, cause when I was writing I thought: I still have to read this in church. It gave me goosebumps.

Yesterday was the funeral. My sister held my hand as we went inside the church. She hadn't seen my grandmother for six months so for her it was even harder to realise. She cried at my shoulder as she saw the coffin with her photo on it. We walked along and took place on the second row. It was a really catholic procedure, so the men took place on the right the women on the left.
The priest was reading from the bible, the choir sang songs and after that my mom had to read her text. It was really emotional; everyone was crying. After that they played my grandmothers favourite song. It made me cry. And then it was my turn. Me and my cousin went up to the altar. My entire body was shaking. But I kept reading, but at my last words I choked. It was too deep, I just couldn't say it and started crying, my cousin took over.
It really was a last goodbye. I am gonna miss her...

posted by Fiona @ 8:38 AM