Me, Myself and the Boys

Wild Wild Weekend

This weekend has probably been the craziest weekend in my entire life! Let's start on Friday.
It all started with a very normal day at school. The sun was shining and the weather was too good to just sit at home. So Lars, my classmate, and I went out for a drink on a lovely terrace. The weekend had started so a beer would be just fine. When Lars had to go home, I ran in to Sigrid. We had a lot of catching up to do, so that's what I pretty much did the entire afternoon. Sigrid and I would go out tonight, just us girls, for the good old times!
When I got home, I had to run for my hockeypractice. I was really hyper active that Friday, cause after two hours of training I was still jumping around at the clubhouse. My teammate insisted on buying us beer. So again I had beer, and I didn't have dinner tonight. When I got home, I took a shower and left. At the bar Sigrid and I had SO much fun! But I got way too drunk. No guys this time. Eventhough a friend of Franks was trying to kiss me! But no, I wouldn't do that anymore.
At 4:30 I left the bar, Sigrid and I were so wasted. I was so drunk that I had to call someone and guess who I called... of course, stupid as I was, I was calling: Frank. He picked up the phone. I already got excited by hearing his voice! He was sleeping, and told me he was very tired of working all day. And he promised he would call me back tomorrow.
The next day I woke up with a terrible hangover. And just on the day that Isabel and I had planned a crazy day. We would tell our parents we were sleeping over at each others place. But instead we went shopping in Amsterdam and at night we would go see our Crete-boyfriends. Well Isabel would. We would stay over at his place and take the train home next day. And it worked! Our parents didn't even notice! But anyway that night turned out to be one crazy night too. We were in some sort of village, which was really in the middle of nowhere. We had a great time though. Eberybody knew about us, cause "the boys" had told everything about us. We were stunned about that. Then... it was about 1 o'clock: my phone rings. On the screen appears the name: Frank. I was amazed by the fact that he had actually called back!
I told him I had a crush on him. He said he already had that feeling and that's why he had taken a sure distance of me. Cause he isn't looking for a girlfriend. But I didn't want him as my boyfriend, that's why I wanted to talk to him. To tell him that that "one night" we had planned, would never work, cause I would have feelings for him. He said that I had made the right decision and he was being funny by telling "how could anyone fall in love with me!? I'm not attractive at all!" But he was just teasing me with that. He was so sweet on the phone that I really had to try not to cry, so he would hear me. And I still wanted to thank him for the one night at the restaurant, cause that was just unforgettable.
After the phone call I was devastated, really depressed. And there I was in the middle of nowhere, crying all by myself...
I felt broken. Luckily Menno was there for some emotional support. I was really happy about that! That someone was willing to listen to my story, even if it was about Frank (again). It just made me feel a lot better. And now the felling isn't gone yet. But it is a way of "ending this chapter in my book. " It was as Menno compared Frank to drugs, that I realised I should tell Frank the truth. Menno said that sex with Frank would be like taking drugs. I would really like it, at the moment it would be great! I would feel fantastic! But the day afterwards, knowing that Frank doesn't even love me, would make me feel horrible. Just like drugs do. And then I would like to get that feeling again, so I would sleep with him again and again just to get that great feeling. And my reputation (as long as I still have one) would go down the drain, cause Frank would just have to snap his fingers and I would be there. And I don't wanna be on drugs, so I don't wanna be on Frank. So this metaphor helped me concluding this.
Menno also showed me the light today. That people can be so manipulative. Even some good friends of mine. He could even name an example, and he was SO totally right! And it looked so simple, but I fell for it. I'm such a naïve dumb girl!
So after having this terrible night we had to take the early train. I had to play 2 hockey matches and now I'm really REALLY tired! Also bit hungover... So I'm off to bed...

posted by Fiona @ 2:29 PM